Mama Rucci

I Don’t have an inside voice, Please Stop asking me to use it!

Quit Smoking- Second Times the Charm March 27, 2010

Last month I wrote two posts- One about how I was about to quit smoking and the second about how I was smoke free for a week. I was doing really really good, and figured I kicked the habit! Yay Me!! I haven’t written about it since because I was ashamed and didn’t want to let those down around me who were cheering me on and supporting me. I didn’t want my readers to think I was a weak loser with no will power.

I’ve seen two people in family put the cigarettes down and never pick them up again. I measured myself against them….why couldn’t I be like that?? I’m here to admit that I didn’t do it, I had a couple things happen in my personal life (I won’t get into now) that pushed me over the edge. I said screw it and picked up that old friend who consoled me, calmed me, and made everything feel better for a little while. I know this is NO excuse- but the fact is- Nicotine is not the only addiction, it’s the whole act that you’re addicted to.

I still had it in my head that I would quit again, but this time it was a little scarier because now I knew just how hard it was. Then today I received a comment on my HotMess post and she told me I had given her hope….imagine that…ME…giving someone else hope. She made me see that it’s hard for others too. I want to take her hand and walk beside her, share our stories about our “old friend” who we need to sever this toxic relationship with. It turns out that she has given hope back to me!

I did get the starter pack of Chantix AGAIN and I will be joining my new friend Cindy and start my journey again. Tomorrow morning I take my first step to a “smoke free” life.

I will keep telling myself, I am a NON-Smoker! To those of you who cheered for, stood by me, and prayed for me…please don’t stop. I won’t be afraid to fall and I will look for your hand to help me up! Please add Cindy in your prayers as well. Then we will all celebrate together. Although I won’t be able to drink for a while as they go hand in hand 🙂


The Joy of Smoking January 27, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Rachel Ferrucci @ 3:50 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I know, you’re thinking who would think that way? The joy of smoking? I’ll tell you  who… a smoker! If smoking wasn’t bad for your health, everyone would be doing it! It  relaxes you, substitutes snacks, takes away boredom, and not to mention the people  you meet when you’re kicked outside to your little “smoking area”. We’ve become like  leprosy colonies– looked down on by society- minorities- diseased.  I too have become  like society and hate the fact that I smoke. NOT because people tell me not to, but  because I find myself running out of breath, coughing when I’m not sick, and  inconveniencing family and friends. I’ve decided to become a non-smoker. Thanks to FaceBook I’ve found I have many people who support me, so I decided to go a step farther and document this life changing event. I’m hoping I will hear from those who quit before me and from those who want to try to quit along with me. Together we can do this!!

I am not doing this cold turkey. I started taking Chantix about a month ago. I’m not very good with meds so of course I  kept forgetting to take my pills at the correct time, but I didn’t give up. I was determined to take the pills for 2 weeks and also start cutting back on the smokes. once I got down to 5 cigs a day, I was totally amazed, then 3 a day. This past Sunday I had one cigarette and it wasn’t so bad because I told myself what time I would be able to have it and I looked forward to it. Then I thought, how bad would it be if I only had one cigarette a day- that couldn’t hurt. It could be like that glass of wine or beer you have after work. OK, I get it- QUIT! Then there’s the I’m not a quitter- ok all seriousness This is the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I’m even nervous, I’m feeling a little like I lost my best friend. I don’t know what to do with myself. At this point I can’t talk anymore about it I’m finding it hard at times to even say the word….smoking.

Here’s hoping tomorrow will be better! Please join me on this venture